


sleepless nights

by Ren_timentialFeelings



Category: Elsword (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Choking, Crying, Dreams and Nightmares, Fire, Gen, How Do I Tag, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, a repetitive nightmare, dead mother - Freeform, he might get comfort in another fic, poor baby esper, teen rating bc i dont know how to tag this nightmare theres too much going on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 11:47:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15290859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ren_timentialFeelings/pseuds/Ren_timentialFeelings
Summary: Nightmares are the worst.





	sleepless nights

     He's back. He hates when he's back.

     When he finds himself standing here. The mansion. _Their_ mansion. Where he lived with his mother and father. Their servants. When he looked to the right and saw the slope up to the hill where he had his best memories with his mother. Father was always busy, but his mother always had enough time for him.

      When he stepped forward, it wasn't towards the hill as he wanted. He was forced to walk forward. With his step forward came a flicker. The first sign of a problem. That warm flicker shouldn't be there, Not in the window. He knew it didn't come from behind him either.

      Even as Esper shook his head, desperately trying to move his body _away_ from the cursed house, where the flicker had turned into a fire. It licked up the sides of the walls, and out ran the servants.

      Originally, they had just screamed 'fire', but this time, he heard it. That accursed word.

      " _ **M O N S T E R.**_  "

      The mere sound of it shook him to the core. He wanted to scream, tell them that he wasn't a monster, but what he screamed in his head for his body to do didn't work. His body didn't comply. The words were brushed off and he headed inside. Calmly.

      As he always had in this repetitive nightmare, his eyes searched the walls. Servants ran past him, bumping his shoulders as they sprinted past. He stumbled back, but continued where he always did.

      Up the stairs, he could only watch as the servants screamed at him, running by, calling him **monster.**

      Again, this was ignored, and immediately he headed to the master bedroom. 

     Here, the flames had already danced their way up here. In fact, they had even knocked something down, and there she was. Mother, stuck underneath the rubble, crying, hoping her son was okay. He couldn't stop himself from crying either. It hurt to see her like this again. Not only the rubble crushed her, but he had before noticed that she had definitely been shot.

 _Excruciating,_ he thought.

     He sobbed and knelt down to her level. When she saw him, she cried and cried, grabbing his face as her eyes closed. "Run," she whispered. "Run, you **monster**." Her eyes opened, staring right into his own. Instead of her gentle purple, they were red. Crazy, even.

      She began to scream at him. " **MONSTER** ," she cried at him. "You horrible _**MONSTER!**_ " 

     Her words pierced through him, and though he knew it was a nightmare, it still hurt, just as if she had said it herself. She gripped his shirt and pulled him closer, screaming at him. Her voice didn't sound like it had before. Now, it sounded like _voices_. Too many voices. Like the ones who would occasionally join his own thoughts. They screamed.

     " **MONSTER!** "

     Esper screamed, regaining control of his own body. He ripped his mother's hands away from his shirt and stood, stumbling away from her prone form. "No! I'm.. I-I'm not a monster!!" He said, his voice tremulous as he gripped his head, stumbling away. He felt like he tripped as he left behind his mother. She was still screaming.

      Hyperventilating, he tried to make his way down the stairs, out of the house, He prayed that the mare wouldn't get any worse. That he'd wake up soon, or at _least_ get away from this house.

     Esper jolted when it felt like someone had grabbed his arm, and weakly, he stumbled back with the feeling. Then suddenly, he felt hands tugged, pulling him and pushing him. They tried to force him to the burning walls, and he resisted. But to no avail. Successfully, the hands had pressed his lower body against the wall as he sobbed, trying his best to keep his face away at least.

     Not this. Not this again. The hands gripped at his hair, pulling it and scratching his scalp. He couldn't hear the crackle of the fire as it consumed his home anymore. He could only hear the thousands of voice around him, calling him monster, ridiculing him, making him feel utterly disgusting. After much struggle, his head was slowly being pressed into the fire, up against the wall. Sobbing, he closed his eyes.

     A mistake.

     When he did, everything was gone. He couldn't move, and still felt as if he was being pressed against a flaming wall still, but there was nothing. Just darkness. When his eyes adjusted, he saw himself. On his knees, clutching his head. He was.. covered in a black substance. He wasn't sure if it was ink, tar, or possibly even his own blood. An abundant amount of it. 

    When he blinked, suddenly he was in front of himself. 

    Crazy. He looked absolutely _gone._

     The other him reached up and gripped his face, staining his cheeks black. He wiped the black under his eyes and cackled, gripping his face even tighter, scratching his skin. "You're a monster, Esper. _We're_ a **monster** , Add." He giggled, whispering it to him as if he was telling a child a secret. He tried to shake his head, suppressing a sob.

     "No... No, we aren't a monster.. we never have been. You...! You should know better... we - we were just trying to-- !" He was interrupted by a hand at his throat, grip tight, keeping him from breathing. 

     "Keep lying to yourself, you foolish boy. You'll lie to yourself until death, y'know?" his voice was cruel, eye growing wider and wider as he squeezed his trachea.

     He couldn't breathe. He felt his eyes begin to roll back. Oh fuck, oh shit.  _Fuck._ He couldn't breathe. He couldn't -- 

     When he woke up, the first thing he did was scream, panting heavily. Sitting up too quickly for his body to really comprehend, black spots filled his vision, paired with being more lightheaded than he already was.

     Pulling his blanket around him, he backed into the corner where his bed met his wall and just sobbed. 

     Nightmares really were the worst.

**Author's Note:**

> this was just a drabble jdjs save me  
> also feedback is appreciated !!


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